CONSPIRACY THEORY

This page is a compilation of all the far out theories that could possibly explain NASA's behavior. I generally do not believe in government conspiracies, because that would be giving government the credit for being smart enough to handle a conspiracy.

Components of a good conspiracy theory.

*The conspiring agency must be given a malevolent nature, (evil).

*The conspiring agency must be overtly supportive of truth, honesty, and democracy, but working behind the scenes to subvert those values.

*There must be certain facts, sometimes obscure and little known, which non the less are true.

*There must be extrapolations of those facts which lead to conclusions which a person with ordinary common sense would find totally absurd and unbelievable.

*Anyone investigating the theory should find more facts which support the theory.

*A good conspiracy theory predicts future events which though a matter of coincidence make the theory believable.

*All good conspiracy theories led to World domination by a select secretive group of fanatics.

*Always a plus if the theory involves space aliens.

*The developer of a conspiracy theory must be a little paranoid, and yes even paranoids have enemies.

*For this web site the submitted conspiracy theory must be about NASA.

ALIENS CONTROL NASA

A small group of space aliens have offered the NASA hierarchy positions as Rulers of the Earth under their domain, if NASA can keep the rest of humanity bottled up on the planet until the alien fleet arrives. NASA has been very effective at this by proving that space travel is very expensive, and that only government employees are intelligent enough to operate space transportation vehicles. The public has not caught on to the fact that Space is only 90 miles away and that government employees are no smarter than anybody else. NASA stalls for time and spends most of it's budget piling up useless scientific facts, and presenting pretty pictures on the web. However, occasionally the public becomes enthused with a new space transportation proposal that promises to make space transportation cheap and safe. This proposal is usually presented by a President suffering the early stages of senility. NASA derails the new space transportation proposal by first offering to do it free with government funds, but then wasting so much money on studies and red tape that the proposal is soon dropped for another new and supposedly better idea. NASA can then return to placating the public with pretty pictures and useless scientific facts masquerading as progress. The plot was almost revealed in 1998, when Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich was suddenly and unexpectedly forced to retire from Congress when he let slip that NASA "has done a spectacular job of slowing down the rate in which we've gotten into space".

All of this will of course come to a screeching halt when the alien fleet arrives and flattens the continents, because the aliens are in fact an aquatic species, and they intend aquaform this planet to get rid of all those pesky land creatures.

HITCHHIKERS GUIDE TO THE UNIVERSE

This isn't really a NASA conspiracy theory, but the facts fit sooo well.

An advanced space alien culture has a computer which predicts that there is a tremendous problem that must be solved, but that it, the computer that is, is not smart enough to solve the problem. Neither are the advanced space aliens or any of their friends smart enough to solve the problem. The problem is so big that the space aliens cannot even comprehend the form of the intelligence capable of solving the problem.

As one of many courses of action, the space aliens find a thousand planets on which life has proceeded in an orderly fashion. They then cause horrific climatic changes by dropping asteroids on the planets and creating ice ages, thereby causing random evolution to produce highly intelligent new species. With a thousand planets, it is hoped that there will be a high probability that a species intelligent enough to solve the problem will be produced. The planets are of course monitored closely, but every effort is made not to interfere in the progress of the new intelligent species. Occasionally individuals are abducted for testing, but are returned with distorted memories of the abduction.

If the new species is judged not to be capable of solving the problem, the planet is subjected to more asteroid bombardments and further disruptions of the environment to spur on the rate of evolutionary advance. The asteriods should start dropping pretty soon now!

If you have a favorite NASA conspiracy theory, Email it to me and I'll add it to the list.

Mark Goll 19785 Marbach Lane San Antonio, Texas 78266-2136 210 651 6558 markgoll@wt.net http://web.wt.net/~markgoll

There is no exit from this page. You must sell your computer, your house, and all your belongings. Then move to Montana and live in an old school bus buried in a hillside.